Thursday, July 17, 2003

NHS-Induced Surrealness

I’ve just got back from today’s eye-clinic appointment. A Nigerian Nurse with tribal scars anaesthetised my eyeballs and dilated my pupils, following which a Greek Doctor shone extremely bright lights into my eyes, while simultaneously interrogating me about the Greek Bronze Age. Afterwards, I walked home under an overcast silver sky which was painful to look at. Actually, it was painful to look at anything, which made crossing the road highly interesting.

The upshot of all this is that there is nothing wrong with my eyes. Nada. At least it’s an answer, but why am I having symptoms if there’s no cause? Perhaps I’ll make medical history: “O’Brien’s Syndrome” has a nice ring to it. And has apostrophes in amusing places.

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