Empty Magazine

I notice that Nuts is running with the cover feature "Real Girls Boobs!" Is is too harsh of me to deduce that the target audience doesn't know any real girls?

I Am Not Damo Suzuki

I notice with disapointment that Damo Suzuki is plying a gig in Liverpool tomorrow night, but I won't be able to go, 'co I'm off to Stockport for the weekend. Now, I've never heard any of Mr. Suzuki's work, even from his time as singer with legendary Krautrock band Can. This means that my desire to see him is based entirely upon the song "I Am Damo Suzuki" by The Fall. Very strange.

Last night, I was jubilant that Liverpool won the European Cup. Mostly because I was afraid that, if they lost, enraged scallies would burn the city to the ground. Mind you, there were still a tremendous number of Police/Ambulance sirens in the early hours of this morning.

Finally.

For a long time in Star Wars conversations, I’ve been outlining the following theory: Episode I was rubbish, but Episode II was an improvement, and if that trend continued, Episode III might actually be good.

Well, I now get to be smug and say that I was right. Having seen the film courtesy of the BBFC on Thursday evening, I can say that Revenge Of The Sith is as good as any of the original Star Wars trilogy. It’s got the action, excitement, operatic sweep, and a sense of humour that doesn’t rely on wacky space Rastafarians.

Of course, not everything in the garden is rosy. Lucas still can’t write romantic dialogue to save his life, and makes some odd decisions (R2-D2 is suddenly a close-combat badass? Of course he is.) I’m also not sure why he feels the need to shoe-horn in characters from the original trilogy (Here’s Chewbacca! For no reason!).

Those flaws are minor. Where Lucas really lets himself down is in the two moments which are intended to be the dramatic high-points of the film, but are both sabotaged. One is wrecked by the casting of a kid who appears to have been drafted in from a school play. The other is destroyed by a piece of script-writing so cheesily hackneyed that it couldn’t be much worse if the line was “And I would have gotten away with it, too, if it wasn’t for those pesky Jedi!”. Honestly, I wanted to eat my own face in embarrassment.

But even with all that in mind, this film is great, and the Star Wars magic is finally back. Still not convinced? Think about this: Obi-Wan Kenobi chasing a cyborg on a giant lizard. There’s nothing not to like about that.

So go and see it.

The Greatest Tool For The Rapid Dissemination Of Utter Nonsense

You have to love internet forums. Where else could I have uttered this?:

"Because maths is a universal language, of course, so the Middle East is just a really, really big equation which we have to solve. And maybe we will, a century from now, when we're all post-human cyborg killing machines from the future."

Hard-Disk Trash

Monkey See, Monkey Do.

Me indulging in web-comicery was bound to happen eventually. Who knows, if I stick at it it may eventually become funny, or insightful, or something.

Victory And Defeat

Don't rejoice in his defeat, you men.

For though the world stood up and stopped the bastard,

The bitch that bore him is in heat again.

- Bertolt Brecht

"Who Elected Them? You."

http://www.mnftiu.cc/mnftiu.cc/war46.html