Oh, The Humanity!

The internet has just introduced me to the works of Andy Remic, an author so bad that he represents absolute zero on a scale of authordom. It is simply not possible to be any worse than him. Fans of language should look away now:

Glancing up, The Mongrel saw the office light go out and he smiled, a grim smile, the sort of smile which can only appear on the face of a man who’s had two fingers blown off by a grenade.

Ben had a look on his face, but it was not confusion. It was far from confusion. It lingered in the realms of terror and pelted apples at the windows of disgust.

And above the world as this deadly virus spread, Mankind suddenly realised that He was cursed, and that God was Laughing and it was a Long Laugh and the Humour was Black and there was No Cure and No Help and No Redemption and the Pit and the Void Welcomed Unwary Travellers with a cool pint of SNOT. In a straight glass.

My Life In Film

On Friday, I unexpectedly made my film debut. While helping with the shooting of some scenes for the amateur film "Play Nice" I was twice press-ganged into acting. The first occasion saw my crotch being used to simulate a crowded bar. In the second, not only is my face on camera, but my character has a name! And delivers the line "What? But Evette's not been interested in anyone the whole time she's been here!". At some point, you'll doubtless get to see this. Hilarity will almost certainly ensue.

I spent Thursday evening (yes, all of it) in the FACT cinema, watching Downfall, the German film about the last days of Hitler's life. It is very interesting: while Bruno Gantz's performance as Hitler involved a lot more ranting than I'd been led to believe, he does a very good job of portraying Hitler as a rather sad middle-aged man. While there has (predictably) been controversy about this "human" Hitler, I find it a lot more disturbing to think that a man who couldn't watch his dog being poisoned was directly responsible for the deaths of over 50 million people.

Downfall is, inevitably, heavy going, as it consists of 2 hours and 45 minutes of footage of people committing suicide, so it won't be everyone's glass of schapps, but provided that you're sufficiently interested in the subject, I'd recommend seeing it.

More Animal Badassery

Badass Monkey

See here:

Surprise Result

According to, The Geek Test I score only 12.03156%, and therefore only have Geekish Tendancies, rather than being a fully-fledged geek. Surprised me.

I have recieved the first complaint about the new colour scheme. And ignored it.

Oh Me Oh My!

New Adventures In Dial-Up

I've now returned to Liverpool, having spent the Easter holidays getting my parents online, and copying music for my sister, who now owns an iPod mini.

It's all change at the flat on Smithdown Road, as I now have a new housemate, Shaomya (I've guessed how to spell that, so it may contain none of the right letters). Anyone who owns a Spiderman mug is OK by me.

As far as the PhD goes, I'll find out how that rough first-draft chapter is, as Chris Mee has been reading it over Easter...